


The Answer

by ead13



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, almost everyone in the Inner Circle, asking the tough questions, compassion vs love, humanized Cole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 15:09:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19443967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ead13/pseuds/ead13
Summary: Cole wants to understand love, not just compassion, and he seeks out the members of the inner circle to ask them just what love means.





	The Answer

**Author's Note:**

> This got way more complicated than I expected when I began... What did I get myself into lol

“Cadash, what does love feel like?”

The question from Cole caught the Inquisitor off-guard as she took a swig of ale, even more so because she hadn’t even realized he was standing behind her. She nearly spewed the beverage from her mouth, causing Sera, her dining companion, to laugh hysterically at her expense from across the table. The Inquisitor focused on calming her racing heart with a scowl as she wiped her mouth. “Where the hell did that come from?”

“I heard Maryden singing about it just now,” the newly-humanized spirit answered seriously, blinking beneath his long blonde bangs. “It sounds nice, but I’m not sure I understand. Something about making you feel warm and a little dizzy? Butterflies in your stomach? I thought that was being sick!”

“Well, they do use the term ‘love-sick’,” Malika conceded, “but no, they are not even close to the same thing.”

“So, how is it different?”

“Oi, don’t be starting mushy conversations while I’m trying to eat!” Sera protested while waving her fork in annoyance. “I paid for it, don’t wanna lose my appetite.”

“You know, you are definitely asking the wrong person this question, Cole. Why don’t you go ask Varric? I realize his romance serial was not exactly his best seller, but the guy’s gotta have a better handle on love than me with my stunted emotions.”

“Okay.” Cole was quick to agree, knowing full-well that Varric could always be counted on to explain the finer points of humanity to him. He never made it feel like a bother either, he always smiled and called him ‘kid’ while beckoning him closer. Without another word, Cole slipped back into the crowd of people at the tavern as if he had never given up his spirit powers, leaving Malika and Sera to their dinner.

The Inquisitor shook her head with a snort before returning to her mug. “Asking ME of all people about emotional stuff. Damned if I know.”

“But don’t you love Beardy?” Sera prodded, waggling her eyebrows.

Malika rolled her eyes. “I have no idea what it is we have, and there’s no need to put a label on it. All that matters is that it is a good thing and we’re both happy.”

Sera clicked her tongue and returned to her own mug. “Let’s hope Varric’s got a better answer than you.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“Varric, what is love?”

The dwarf, who had been working at his ledgers before the fireplace in the great hall, quickly dropped his quill and studied the boy standing before him with keen interest. “What’s this about, kid? Got your eye on someone?”

Cole frowned in confusion. “What do you mean? I heard Maryden singing about it but I didn’t understand. I think it is a thing that is important to humans, so I should figure it out if I want to better help.”

“Purely academic, then. Shucks.” Varric let out a low chuckle. “Well, there’s no denying it causes its fair share of problems for you to fix. Come here.” He reached over and patted the chair next to him, prompting Cole to come sit. Once he was in place, Varric continued. “That is a very complicated question, kid. See, there’s all kinds of love.”

“Really? Then why don’t you use different words for it so people don’t get confused?”

“It’s my understanding that in some languages there are. But, as it is, you know that Leliana does not love shoes the same way she loves Mr. Schmooples II or Divine Justinia.”

“That makes sense so far,” Cole agreed. “But none of those things sound like what Maryden was singing about. Something about a boy with dark hair and piercing eyes and a stolen kiss down by the stream. I don’t know why those details mattered.”

“Oh boy.” Varric rested his forehead in his hand for a moment. He had no intention of starting the conversation about the birds and the bees at this point. “Let’s say that was more to do with…finding a life partner, if you will. The kind you might start a family with and share a home with. People tend to focus on the physical appearance of someone that interests them in that way.”

“I wonder why…” Varric just let that thought trail off. Definitely not going there.

“In any case, you ask that question to different people, you’ll get a different answer each time. You know…” Varric rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “you should try it. It could be very enlightening.”

Cole tilted his head. “I already asked Malika. She said she had no idea. That wasn’t very helpful.”

“Sounds about right,” Varric shook his head. “Which is funny, because she’s got the closest thing to Maryden’s song out of all of us.”

Cole closed his eyes, trying to piece together this information. “A partner for life. Tied together. You mean Thom?”

“Except apparently she has no idea.” The rogue shrugged. “Maybe once you figure it out, you can tell her.”

“I will. But Varric…”

“Yeah, kid?”

“You never really answered me either.”

Varric frowned. Perceptive bugger that Cole. “Hey, where would the fun be if I just told you? Now get out there and start asking.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Cole was nothing if not sincere in his quest for information, earning at the very least a simple response from those he interviewed. By now, those in the Inner Circle understood his strange requests to some degree and were willing to humor him. Only Vivienne refused, though Cole had expected that; he would always be a monster in her eyes.

Cassandra, after fumbling for a few moments, brusquely informed Cole that true love was little gestures you did to show how important someone was to you. Gifts of flowers appearing on your table. Offering a hand. Reciting a poem. Cole felt a bit bad for her, seeing as she believed in those books she read so strongly but had yet to find her idea of love in real life, but at least the thought made her happy.

Solas wrinkled his brow at the question, informing Cole that love was a weakness, a human foible that made fools of wise men. Better that Cole remain immune to it and give up this quest for knowledge lest it ensnare him. The boy imagined this was a rather unpopular opinion, but seeing as Solas had said it, it had to be true. Solas knew a lot of things.

Iron Bull gave a hearty laugh upon hearing Cole’s question. Coming from the Qun, he pointed out that everyone else tended to label things as love that were not. To love someone meant they were a part of you, and it was rare to experience. Cole wondered if he and Dorian had love. Bull quickly shook his head, but Cole perceived the way the question seemed to lodge itself under the mercenary’s skin. Strange.

Next he went to Dorian to see if he would react similarly. Dorian gave an explanation so flowery that he couldn’t even interpret what the Tevinter was trying to say. In fact, Cole wondered if Dorian was even answering his question at all. Something about youth and desire that cooled and solidified with age. Did Dorian have love for Bull? Unlike Bull, Dorian paused before shaking his head ‘no’, but he seemed similarly conflicted.

Josie declared that love was every person’s dream, something every human craved. It could be love of a family, knowing you had a place to belong and people that needed you, or it could be love of someone special who chose you out of all the others. Some people never got the chance to find the latter, and Cole knew from Josie’s voice that she was in this category at this point of her life. Perhaps he could help?

When he asked Cullen, the commander frowned and folded his arms. Defensive. He attempted to answer a few times, but never got more than a few words in. He’d probably never given this question serious thought before. Finally, he managed some line about sacrifice before shooing the boy away so he could focus on his work.

Leliana gave one of the most cryptic answers. To Cole’s understanding, she was quoting scripture as she called it the Maker’s most exquisite gift, and referring to Andraste’s love for the world. The poor boy was not nearly as well-versed in human religion, and felt utterly lost. At least it seemed to give the spymaster comfort, whatever it meant.

When all was said and done, Varric had been right about one thing: no one could seem to agree on a definition. Bits and pieces of so many things, but he still couldn’t form them into a cohesive picture. Surely there was still someone else that could give him a good answer! Cole wracked his brain, and finally realized that he was missing a very obvious source: Thom. Hadn’t Varric said that he and Malika had the closest thing to Maryden’s song out of anyone? Hopefully he would be more forthcoming that Malika had been.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“Thom, I have a very important question,” Cole requested quietly. Thom barely heard him over the sound of the wood splitting with each downfall of his hatchet, but he could feel the boy’s presence behind him. It still made the hair on the back of his neck stand up despite his more human nature, if he were being honest.

Thom dropped the hatchet, wiped his brow, and turned to face the boy, who was fidgeting with his hands. “You think I’ll have a good answer?” He shook his head, revealing how much he doubted that himself.

“Yes. You see, I want someone to explain to me what love is.”

Thom just stared at Cole for several seconds. “That’s awfully deep, even for you. Why in the world do you think I could give you a good answer? I’m hardly a philosopher.”

The boy shrugged. “I think you’ve been through so much, you must know. So many of the people I’ve talked to have ideas, but no experience.”

The older man continued to look at him strangely. He seemed to be internally debating how he should respond. Did he want to get personal with such a question? Cole had been reading his mind for a long time now, there was hardly anything he didn’t already know about him. “That’s true enough, I suppose. But wouldn’t Varric be a better option for explaining things?”

“He told me that would be cheating.”

Thom let out a low curse. “Of course he did. Well…” He sighed. He’d been short-tempered with Cole in the past, unnerved by his abilities, but the boy deserved better. He HAD been trying to help in his own way. “Let’s not discuss it here. Inside?” He gestured to the stable behind him.

“Okay.” Cole smiled, happy that if nothing else, someone was going to give him a thorough answer this time. He even scooted past Thom in his eagerness, leaving the warrior to give a grunt of amusement before following.

Once both were seated before the fire, Thom began. “Look, here’s the first thing about love, something I learned the hard way: you can’t love someone if you don’t know them. I mean, really know them. Not just simple things like their favorite color or what they eat for breakfast every morning, but the things that make them tick, the things they are passionate about and the things they can’t stand. Knowing them so well you can predict how they will react to things. Sometimes, knowing them better than they know themselves.”

“Does that mean that before you were revealed, you didn’t actually love Cadash?” Cole blinked in confusion.

Thom hung his head, as if Cole’s innocent question were an accusation. “I think we both thought we had something that wasn’t actually love. Not yet. We still had a ways to go.”

“Like Iron Bull said, how people think things are love that aren’t actually?”

“Bull’s got an uncanny knack for perception. Easy to forget when you just look at him. At any rate…what did Solas call you again, a Spirit of Compassion? That’s what makes the difference, really. You help people out of principle, just to be nice. You don’t have a vested interest in helping them, you never stay and watch the effects of what you do and appreciate it because you don’t actually know any of the people you help. With love, seeing their pain would hurt you as if it were your own, and you’d see them through the entire process until you were sure they were feeling better. You’d be there in case they backslide. You don’t help as many people, you just help them more deeply, if that makes sense.”

“Deeper…” Cole mused, frowning in concentration. “So, the difference between me helping a random soldier and me helping you.”

Thom blushed a bit at the analogy. “You’re not wrong, though there’s more to it than that. The next thing about love is that it makes you a better person.”

“Solas says it makes you weak.”

The soldier heaved an exasperated sigh. “Why am I not surprised? It depends on your point of view, I suppose. Speaking from personal experience, it has done nothing but make me stronger. You see, when you love someone, you want to be better. What they think of you means more than almost anything, definitely more than what the world thinks of you.”

“You were trying to be better for so long, but Cadash made you strong enough to finally confess.”

“Yes. I suppose that’s it, isn’t it?” He trailed off thoughtfully. “Not just her, though. Even when you’re apart, you never stop thinking about them. Even if they are gone…”

“Liddy.”

“Yes. Even when you’ll never see that person again, you still want to be better for them. They are a part of you.”

“Hey, Bull said that too!”

“And he’s right. Except, you can be a part of someone in a bad way, and that wouldn’t be love.” For the first time, Thom scrutinized his audience. “Say, just how many people did you ask?”

Cole began counting on his fingers. “About eight. It depends if you count Cadash, because she couldn’t answer me.” When he noticed his mentor look concerned, he quickly added “I don’t think she knew how to express it. I don’t think it was because she didn’t feel it.”

“Ah. That’s reassuring.” He turned towards the fire and began to stir the dying embers.

“So, do you think it is true that love is doing nice things to show you care about someone?”

“Hmm…seems a bit simple of an explanation, but it’s not wrong. When you love someone, you do all kinds of things to show them you care.”

“Is love feeling like you belong, that you were chosen?”

“Yes.” That he could answer easily; it had been too many years since he felt those things, mostly thanks to his own idiotic choices.

“Is love sacrifice?”

“Absolutely! Though not every sacrifice is done for love. Some is done for duty, or compassion. We already talked about the difference there.” Heaven knew what Malika had sacrificed for him, and what he would be willing to sacrifice for her.

“I’d ask about what Dorian and Leliana said, but I don’t really understand it at all and so I can’t remember.”

“Flowery language, no doubt.” Satisfied the fire was rekindled, he tapped the fire poker and set it back down, folding his arms. “Sorry we got off track, but there is one more thing. Maybe the most important thing.”

“What is that?” Cole leaned forward, intensely interested in his next words.

Thom swallowed at the sight. Such an innocent soul. What would he know about what he was going to say next? His life was so much darker than Cole’s could ever be! Even when the spirit had killed, it had been simply a misguided attempt at helping. “Love is knowing all of someone’s flaws, but forgiving and accepting that person for who they are regardless. That’s why you have to know the person, and that’s why you have to be trying to do better. I’m not saying you should love someone who abuses you, for example; that would be an unhealthy relationship. But, think about Cadash. For all the things we love about her, she’s not perfect. She can be brash and short-tempered. Sometimes she misreads social cues because of her upbringing. I accept this about her because I love her, and I stay by her side even when she makes a mistake. Meanwhile she tries to improve because she loves me. I see the way she looks at me sometimes before speaking, slowing down to reconsider her words. We all know I am a liar and a coward, but she accepted me for who I am and I try to do better for her.” Thom paused and took a deep breath. “Do you see what I’m trying to say?”

Cole nodded slowly. “It’s very complicated, much more so than the other explanations anyone else gave me. But…I think that’s a good thing. I think love is complicated.”

“Yes and no. Believe me, you’ll know it when you feel it.”

“I think I already feel it. Based on your explanation, I love you, Thom.”

The way he said it, so matter-of-factly, had Thom’s face burning. “You think?”

“Yes. I definitely know you. I told you to kill me if I go astray, so that means I want to do better for you. And I accept you with all your flaws.” The boy smiled triumphantly. “You’re right, what I feel for you is different than what I feel for the countless people in the keep that I’ve been helping. Thank you for helping me understand! You must love me too, seeing as you tried so hard to help me.”

Thom had no idea if that was true or not, and he wasn’t going to debate it now. “One more thing about love, Cole,” he growled in minor annoyance. “You show, not tell, as a general rule, got it?”

“Got it.” Suddenly, his smile disappeared. Thom could almost imagine his brows furrowing under the brim of his hat. “But that really doesn’t help me understand Maryden’s song…”

The older man threw his hands in the air. “I’ve done my part. You just bring that right back to Varric and let that weasel clarify.”

“Okay. I know he will, because he loves me too!”

As Cole skipped off, Thom rubbed his temples. Perhaps he’d created a monster with his elaborate explanation, but seeing the boy so happy, it was hard to feel bad about it.

**Author's Note:**

> I, like Blackwall, have no interest in trying to explain romantic love to Cole :P


End file.
